The way I see it, God has this huge desk. It’s big. Like T-rex big.( Maybe it is a T rex. Who knows? This is God we are talking about). It’s second hand. Nothing new under the sun, right? He got it when he was out thrifting one day. He likes to keep himself close to where he thinks the least of our brethren are, not realizing thrift stores, especially The Goodwill Store is too expensive for the meek and poor in spirit. Especially in LA, which is of course where God lives. He is a star after all. Anyway-on his huge desk, to the left of his long beard (yes, he really does have one) is a towering stack of paper.(The desk is really a mess. Not only are there papers everywhere, but there seem to be trees growing right through it. You remember how in the Odyssey, Odysseus and Penelope had a bed carved from an olive tree? That’s kind of how the desk is.) If you could see the writing, you would know the pages are filled with people’s prayers. All throughout the day, angels sit around in bedrooms, kitchens, and closets all over the world, eavesdropping on little children with their hands clasped so tight, their knuckles turn a whitish-blue color. They sometimes listen to mothers too-but only if they are praying about their children. You know, “God, please let little Timmy get better.” That kind of thing. I’m telling you right now, he is not listening to the lamentations about wanting a man. I know this for a fact. Don’t ask how. Okay, so they write these prayers down and give them to God, who while they were out, was listening to prayers himself, with these huge, God-sized earphones. Behind his desk, he has a wall with everyone’s name. Even yours. It’s a plaque looking thing like what we had in kindergarten, but this one is pink, and there’s a thumbtack right under your name tag (and everyone else’s) that he uses to posts the prayers of other people, so we can all answer each other. See how that works?