It’s 1:44 in the morning. I’ve been up for about an hour, since being roused by my son’s hungry cry. It’s very distinct. Long “waaaahhhh,” punctuated by an “ack!” Once I changed his diaper and started feeding him, I looked for something to have on in the background. We’re in San Diego at a hotel. There aren’t many channels to choose from. When I am at home and he wakes up, I usually turn to Cartoon Network so I can catch an episode of Bob’s Burgers. The best I can do at this hotel in terms of trying to watch adult cartoons is TBS. They show Family Guy here and there. Levi gets pretty excited about his milk, so as he is sucking it down and waving his little arms in a show of pleasure, I turn to FX by mistake. Spider Man is on. Not the one with Toby. Some other one. I start watching and whispering to Levi that Spider Man is on. He is wearing a Batman onesie. It came with a cape, but in my haste to pack all of his other pertinent items, I forgot it.

I need a parenting book.

By now his eyes are closed. I mock him for not having a Spider Man onesie on. He keeps drinking his milk. I wince as Peter’s uncle gets shot and distract myself from crying by looking down to stroke Levi’s hair. The action makes me think of my own. I wet it yesterday evening in order to avoid having to flat iron it, since Ambyr wanted us to meet her and her classmates/co-workers for dinner. Levi had a moment, so I decided to stay in. I got into bed with my wet hair. We fell asleep waiting on her to come back from class. As you can imagine, my hair was a complete mess. That coupled with the fact that Levi had kicked my ass for about…all day long resulted in me declining her offer to go downstairs to the bar(everyone was down there, so we needed to be). After she told me how lame I was, Levi woke up (hello karma). I took a page out of her book and slid my arms under the pillows.

And I slept.

So here I am awake now. I thought about washing my hair and drying it, so that I could flat iron it I the morning. Yes! That seems like such a great idea. He was sleeping after all. She was in bed with him. Perfect opportunity for “mommy time.” Instead, I went and got ice for his milk(there are no refrigerators in this hotel). Then I decided to take it a step further and wash his bottles. My bottle washing was interrupted by him realizing I wasn’t next to him. He let out a little warning cry, which sounds like the noise a goat would make. Preemie stuff.

So here I am, back in bed, his hand on my chest to make sure I don’t leave again, me whispering to him about Spider-Man.

P.S. My messy hair is kind of cute.

Note: By hair, I mean the wig I’m wearing. I’m still a baldie under here. I had to resort to wearing wigs again because when I shaved my head, it was cold outside and I got tired of wearing Ambyr’s hats. They weren’t my style. It’s okay to wear wigs again because at least now I know that I can pull off a bald head. And still feel beautiful.