So, I was reading “Raymond’s Run,” with my little bumblebee Anjola (my tutee. So pure and gentle that traces of the sacrificial lamb dance through her every time she smiles) and I came across the line where Squeaky, the main character, explains how girls never quite smile at each other because they don’t know how. We talk about it and she agrees with me, citing incidences where her mother fake laughs and smiles at people. Why does she know that at 10? We are all doing something wrong. It was a very sad moment for me. I feel everything, whether good or bad and that made me think about just how harshly we treat each other as women. The way we drag each other. This one is too fat. That one has a dusty weave. The other one thinks she is all that. I wonder why we do it? See each other as competition instead of helpers and contributors? I am guilty of it too. As much as I do my best to tell my co-workers and friends that they look radiant, and their shoes are nice, or laud them for being wise and sagacious, I ride home and think of insults that I will pelt at the women I don’t care for should they be daring enough to ever take me on. And that makes me sad. Because every woman is beautiful in her own way. Whether or not I can appreciate that is none of her business and maybe I need to self-reflect when thinking negative thoughts. I’m not a righteous man, but I think Jesus was remarkable and his teachings say that it’s easy to be kind to those we love. The real work lies in loving those we hate. Does it make me lazy because I refuse to try loving someone who rolls her eyes at me? I guess. Just like when other women look at me they are looking at an immigrant, a victim of sexual abuse, a woman constantly at war with herself, a woman who has looked her lifeless baby in the face, one who gratuitously gave away her yoni to make up for not liking dick, one who lost her father and just forgave her mother and one who is still mourning her glorious hair, I have to take into consideration that my sisters have crosses to bear as well. And I will make sure I smile at them from now on.